Wednesday, August 12, 2015

The Unexpected

{this will be me, a lot}

I've been thinking about writing this post for awhile, like, a long while, but I was waiting for things to settle down a bit and for us to have an actual plan in place, and now we do.

So here's the deal; Gregory didn't get his green card, as in denied, denied, denied. That's right kids, D E N I E D. Feel free to take a moment to shout expletives, I know I did. This is what went down and why.

Way back in 2003, Gregory was working as a bouncer at a club. There was a drunk guy who was harassing other patrons and Gregory asked him to leave. He wouldn't and his behavior escalated, shouting abuse at Gregory and the people standing in line waiting to get in. Gregory's boss urged Gregory to get him to go. After many verbal attempts, with zero success, Gregory shoved the guy. The guy fell, got up, and left. That's it.

But then, for what I can only guess was an attempt to get money, the guy brought charges against Gregory and the club. As you can imagine, they were quite surprised. But then, the drunk guy came to his senses and decided not to show up to court, and his lawyer stated that he wanted to drop the charges because he knew he was drunk and at fault. But here's the kicker, Gregory was in court already, so the judge said to Gregory that while he was only doing his job, he was young and needed to learn how to do it better, and he gave him 100 hours of community service. And that was that.

Fast forward nine years to life in Le Petit Village. Remember this post when I said that some stuff had gone down and we needed to get away for a bit? Well here's why... At the village festival, which also happened to be Gregory's birthday, there was an incident.

It was the end of the evening, and the village square which had been closed to traffic had just been reopened, but people were still milling about. A car came speeding through, almost hitting Gregory and his friends. Gregory hit his hand on the hood of the car and then waved his hand in a 'slow down' motion (I know this because I was across the street and saw the whole thing). The driver shouted, "go eff yourself," but in French and not as polite as that. I'm sorry to say that Gregory did not react very gentlemanly like to that, and a fight ensued.

It was a mess, but it was a fight, a dumb, boys being boys fight. Our evening came to end and we all moved on, or so I thought.

A week later, the police showed up at our door to question Gregory because check this out... the guy who Gregory got into a fight with pressed charges and said that it was a racially motivated attack. W H A T ? ! This guy said that he was innocently driving through the village and big Aryan looking Gregory saw him and ran after the car with a baseball bat (where did the bat come from???) shouting for the [insert racially charged words] to get the [insert bad words] out of his village.

That didn't happen.

The case went to court, the racist charges were dropped because the judge wasn't an idiot and saw through that one, and then he ruled that it was a mutual altercation, as in a fight, that's it, not assault, certainly not a hate crime, but a fight, between a couple of idiots. And that was that.

Or so I thought, because Gregory's Green Card was denied on the basis of Moral Turpitude.

P O P P Y C O C K! I wrote to the Embassy and requested another interview because surely they were misinterpreting the court records but get this, the consular officer told me that it's not what happened, or what the outcome was, it's that the charges that were brought against Gregory, COULD have resulted in bigger convictions. Feel free to take a moment to shout expletives, I know I did.

So here we are now, beginning the fun-filled waiver process. The process is expected to take six to seven months, and in the meantime, I'm in Texas, and Gregory is in Dublin (he's working there at the moment and long story short - it makes more financial sense for him to be there right now instead of France).

But here's the kicker, when Gregory's Green Card was denied, his ESTA was revoked (for those who don't know, and ESTA is the visa waiver that people in numerous countries use to travel to the U.S.) so he can't even enter the U.S.! That's right, Gregory has become persona non grata on U.S. soil because he shoved a guy in 2003 and got into a fight in 2012. Feel free to take a moment to shout expletives, I know I did.

#$@&%*! #$@&%*! #$@&%*!

I'm sorry for taking so long to tell you guys what's been going on, but I just haven't had it in me. These past few months have been rough with a capital R. But I do miss y'all, and I think about you often, and maybe now that I've broken the ice again, I might make it back here from time to time.

P.S. Fifty says hi.

53 comments:

  1. I am so sorry, Sara. This will all work out - but what a hell of a journey. Is there a petition you can start? We can help make it go viral!!

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    1. That's sweet Patricia and very appreciated. I'll try the waiver first, but hold on to that idea ;)

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  2. Oh no, I am sorry Sara. I can imagine how frustrating this must be. Bon courage. Meredith

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  3. I am so sorry. I hope things go better for you with the waiver.

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  4. WHAT?! I've been following the whole Green Card process you guys have been through and my jaw literally dropped open when I read this. I'm so sorry to hear about this utterly crappy turn of events. I hope the consulate green card connards get their act together ASAP.

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  5. this kills me because of the current situation with our borders- and who is here without adherence to proper regulations and documentation and they can stay and are entitled to all sorts of benefits yet a married adult male with everything in order cannot get a green card COME ON this is so I just do not even have the words....I am so sorry really sorry-

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    1. Thanks for your support Helen, the whole thing is absolutely atrocious and mind-numbing

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  6. Oh, no. I am hurling expletives at my iPad now. The unfairness of this is bordering on insane. Is there anything at all that we can do to help? I hope you can head back to Dublin soon. My heart just breaks for you guys. Hugs and one for Fifty, too. This must have been difficult to write...thanks for letting us know.

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    1. I'll probably be over in September or October :)
      And thanks for the hugs x

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  7. I am so sorry to hear this Sara :( So difficult situation and those reasons sucks so bad.. If G isn't getting his green card, is there a possibility to live together in Europe? I wish all the best for you two, hugs and kisses from Finland. Sini

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    1. Thanks Sini. I wouldn't mind living back in Europe, but the problem is that we have to fix/finish this whole situation first because otherwise, Gregory can't come to the US at all, not even to visit, and that's no good :( Bisou

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  8. WTF?!?!?!?!

    So sorry, Sara. Fingers crossed for the appeal. Sending positive thoughts your way.

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  9. I know you two want a life together far from the Nazi Zombie Ghosts, but this country allows illegal alien felons who murder our citizens, not Gregory?!?! Maybe Fifty will like Ireland better anyway. By the way, I have really missed your adventures.

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  10. So sorry, Sara! This does seem overly harsh and way unfair. Hope you can get the waiver, and soon. We in blog land miss you. And, hope something good happens soon!

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  11. Well shit. This is so freaking frustrating and I feel for you my dear, I really do. I'm hoping there are quite a few international trips in your future so at least you'll get to go see your husband - sheesh!

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  12. WTF!! When you think of the moral turpitude that walks around America's streets every day, there is NO comparison to what happened to Gregory! Any idiot can see that. Hell, he even had an interview! I do hope things get sorted out... for the best!

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    1. My thoughts exactly Sarah!
      And thanks xx

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  13. What in the WHAT! Just when you think this whole process can't get any more ridiculous...So sorry Sara :( I hope this waiver gets things sorted!

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    1. It's been one never-ending parade of ridiculousness that's for sure!

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  14. Omg woman, I don't even know how you are staying sane right now. I'm not even going to say I'm crossing my fingers...just that I hope you two get to spend some time together *real* soon.

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    1. I can no longer tell if I'm still sane, or so completely insane that I just think I'm sane. True story ;)

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  15. Sorry to hear things haven't worked out. As someone that made the move from the UK to the US I know how strict everything can be. Hopefully you can appeal.

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    1. Thanks Rachael, we're working on it!

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    1. When not screaming obscenities, I'm usually speechless.

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  17. I am so sorry that things didn't work out with your husband's green card. I can't imagine how he must feel about this...it was so brave and strong of you to write this post. I hope you can be together soon so that you can plan your strategy! I think you two are destined to be together and in the long run it probably doesn't matter where!

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  18. Aw! I am so sorry! I thought maybe something was up/Just isn't fair.Wish I had a connection for you! Definitely blog again.It will change your mind from being consumed even minute.(easy for me to say).Glad you shared.

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  19. That's just nuckin futz! I'm so sorry to read this post and hope things get sorted out soon :(

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  20. Oh my goodness, this is absolutely ridiculous! I had no idea something like this could happen. I am so sorry you two are having to go through this :( I hope it all gets resolved and everyone comes to their senses.

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  21. What a pain in the ass! I'm sooo sorry! You know the more I live outside the US, I realize it's not all that people think it is. Good luck!

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  22. Oh boo hiss and poppycock indeed. What a frustrating bummer and roadblock. >.< I'm so sorry y'all are having to deal with all of that, SL!!!!

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  23. OH man that sucks so bad. I'm so sorry. Why couldn't they have started w/the background check and police record instead of doing that last? Would have saved you time and money. UGH. I'm so sorry. I hope the waiver process is free and that in a situation like this where it's a misunderstanding (Gregory is not a criminal!) that they will do the right thing. And hopefully fast. Hang in there.

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  24. This is heartbreaking.

    Can you just go back to Provence or Dublin and resume your lives together? You NEED to be together, it doesn't matter where.

    Love to you both.

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  25. ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?! SERIOUSLY?!?!?! There are so many things wrong with this country and our policies and I can't even handle this. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this bull crap. :(

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  26. That sounds like a nightmare, I can't believe they would deny his visa for such a minor incident. It's totally outrageous. I am starting the visa process for my husband at the end of this year and I can't imagine what we would do if he couldn't get his green card. I'm so sorry.

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  27. What?!?! I am speechless! I really am!!!! I cannot believe this! I mean, such a crap! Come on! Are they crazy! I am so so sorry, Sara! I don't even know what to say because I really am speechless and that rarely happens! I am sending you lots of love and hugs and I hope you can figure things out! Fingers crossed!

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  28. Seriously?! i can understand that you need to sort the waive issue out but then please come back to Europe - there's always a bed and a doggie duvet ready chez nous. Thinking of you all x

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  29. Well if that's not some unadulterated jackassery. I'm sorry you are going through this. Hugs to you and Gregory (and Fifty!) xo

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  30. What a complete bummer for you both. And Fifty too. I really hope you are able to find a solution to this soon. It must really hurt being without your dear boy for so long. Hugs to you all.

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  31. Oh man, this sucks :( talk about some government bureaucracy nonsense! I'm so sorry you're going through this. Fingers crossed it gets sorted and you're together again-SOON!

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  32. I am so angry for you. You're such a champ to handle it with grace. xo

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  33. That is the most absurd thing I've ever heard!! So sorry for you guys!

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  34. Hi Sara, I don't know you well, but I know a bit just by following you on IG.
    I'm really sorry this is happening. You know, I think that all men have this situations, at one time in their life, some have more... My exhusband just got in a fight a couple of weeks ago, and though he didn't start it, I did think to myself "You did what?"... And though I see where he's coming from, I think that these situations happen all the time, and it's just bad luck that your husband ended up in court! That being said, your husband has done no bodily harm, he's not a hard criminal, I mean it's absolutely ridiculous. Human beings sometimes get in arguments, it's life. Also, they KNOW you are an American, and that you're married, I mean what the heck. I'm really sorry that you can't be with your husband, it's not fair, it really isn't. Otherwise, I hope you have a good upcoming weekend, have a few vino's! Much love,Tammy

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  35. OH MY GOSH! What the.....?????! I cannot believe this. Expletives aren't enough to express how I feel for you guys. You've already been through so much unnecessary stuff in this process and now this? I want to start shouting in frustration here but I know that is no good for anybody :( I so know what it feels like to be apart and you've been doing it for so long now. Plus the whole nerve-wrecking process of forms and interviews and waiting. This is so NOT FAIR. I'm keeping my fingers crossed the waiver process will be far easier and successful so Gregory will be able to visit the US again without limitations. I'm sending lots of positive thoughts and strength your way. I believe in you two and I believe you'll be together no matter how or where. But that doesn't change that this is hard and painful and it simply sucks big time. Lots of hugs for you!

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  36. The World is just so crazy. It really is. I am so sorry Sara, this has literally been one of my worst nightmares for a very long time :( I hope everything works out for you guys xxx

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  37. NO NO NO! This breaks my heart. :(

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