It's Me, Sara Louise

Not Le Père Fouettard, but Fifty, in his reindeer antlers. He hates me.

Bonjour, la veille de Noël, we meet again.

How in the name of all that’s Christmas is it December 24th again? If it wasn’t for the big move and the whole Green Card brouhahah, I swear, it feels like I was just in Toulon for Christmas Eve last year, like a couple of days ago. (That was a good one, remember? Except for the BB gun part of course. Stupid boys.)

So yeah, Christmas Eve snuck up on me, but even though it’s here, and the big show is only a day away (and closing in quickly down under, g’day Aussie friends), there was no way I was going to let it pass without my annual re-telling of the tale of Père Noël’s (that’s French Santa by the way), evil sidekick, Le Père Fouettard.

You know, now that I’m safely ensconced back in the States, I feel like I’m out of Le Père Fouettard’s evil grasp. But since there’s a Frenchman and a French dog in my house, what if that means he can still get me? Like, he can sense the Frenchness in my Texas home and find his way here. I’m sure if he looks closely, he can follow the baguette crumbs Gregory dropped along his way. Damn you Gregory! Oh well, I guess I have to make sure to stay on the nice list for another year. Yawn.

Originally titled: Nothing Says Christmas Like A Flogging and posted, December 15, 2009.

OK, this is weird.

I was doing a little reading about French Christmas traditions. I figure since I’m here, I might as well find out the happenings of my favorite holiday, French style. And there is absolutely no use asking Gregory, he is useless at relaying this kind of information.

Anyhoo…

In France, Santa Clause is Père Noël, nothing strange there, but Père Noël has a partner, and it’s not Rudolph. It’s an evil man named…dun dun dun….

Le Père Fouettard
(Sounds a bit scary doesn’t it, thought it needed that dun dun dun.)

According to my sources, the ever reliable Wikipedia, Le Père Fouettard was a guy who kidnapped three little boys, robbed them, killed them, and then chopped them up and put them in a stew.

Holy Reindeer Droppings! How the Fudge does this guy end up having anything to do with Sugar Plums and Mistletoe?

Apparently, Jolly Ol’ St. Nick some how discovered the crime (maybe when Le Père Fouettard’s name was flashing in red lights all over the naughty list) and magically resurrected the children (nice tie in to J.C. there – it is his birthday after all). Le Père Fouettard ends up feeling bad and becomes St. Nick’s partner and goes around with him on Christmas.

But get this, Le Père Fouettard doesn’t become all full of holiday cheer like Ebeneezer Scrooge, he’s still sinister, so instead of handing out pressies, he punishes all the naughty children instead. Usually with a good old fashioned flogging.

Nothing says Christmas like a flogging.

Safe to say, I’m usually a well behaved girl, but after reading about you know who (don’t want to type his name again in case it has some sort of Beetlejuice effect) I’m going to be on my best behavior this holiday season.

Don’t want you know who coming to town.