Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Defining My Happy {guestpost}


Hi guys! I'm Jen from Defining My Happy. Sara and I have been blogging friends for a few years now and in that time, I've come to love reading all about her adventures. Now that she's back in the states, I think a road trip is in order. :) But for now, I'm taking over for her while she does other very important things. Let's do this!

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A list titled, "29 books to get you through your quarter-life crisis" found its way to me a few weeks ago. I was immediately intrigued. My first thought- am I having a quarter-life crisis? I'm closer to 30 than to 20. I'm not always certain that I'm living life to the best of my abilities. There are moments of self-doubt and insecurity and a distinct, yet indescribable fear of not knowing where it's all going to lead in the future. I wish I had more answers than questions, but don't we all? This is life baby; let's roll with the punches. 
Grab a drink and saddle up. Here we go!
I'm getting better at that, you know. I replied to an email yesterday from a friend living in Ireland and I told her quite clearly that I am drifting right now. And at first, that was sort of scary and then it gradually became less so. You see, I'm a stay at home mom and have been for a few years. During naps and after bedtime, I carve out time to write long sentences under a folder titled "manuscript" and create lists for groceries and "to do's" in my red leather notebook that I carry just about everywhere. But during waking hours, I am a chef, a dinosaur, transportation to and from the fun spots, the discipliner, the photographer, the librarian, the maid and much much more. I like to think I am good at these positions, that I fulfill what would otherwise be blank voids, but there are no set metrics, no quarterly performance reviews to tell me so. and THAT, that is what can be scary about drifting. I imagine that this is true of anyone pursuing a creative passion or building a new business or taking a leap of faith. 

My day "job". Aren't they cute?
But fear not, fellow drifters. we don't need an outside source repeating a generic praise. We have ourselves and that should most certainly be good enough. I am learning to tune out that worker bee need and instead tune in to the quiet voice inside whispering, "You are fine, dear girl." It is not easy, but it is a lesson worth learning. You. Are. Fine. Repeat that until it is less tentative and more brave.

Life is an adventure. One that ceases to be so when it's filled to the brim with impossible expectations. Today feels like a good day to relinquish myself from them.

Dear Universe,

I am grateful for this. I am happy to be right where I am at this exact moment in my life. (the only thing that would make it better would be for my 20 month old to sleep through the night, but I'll stop while I'm ahead) I'm sure you get tired of hearing people complain about all that they don't have or aren't doing. There will always be the crowd that you just can't satisfy. And maybe they'll figure it out for themselves one day. But I want you to know, it's enough for me.

Thanks for this opportunity.


* ps- Click here for the book list I mentioned. I highly recommend 1 & 2, 5 for the pony story, 19 and 26. I've also heard good things about 13, though I can't vouch yet.

 *pps-Thanks for having me Sara!

3 comments:

  1. I think I am still learning this lesson! It is not always easy! Thank you so much for sharing this!

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  2. I would not in any way describe what you do is drifting - it sounds like you are one organised & efficient stay at home Mom. I think being a fulltime mom is a fantastic gift to your two sons and I am sure that later on in life you will look back & be glad of this time you spent with them & I am sure they will too. Just think of the memories you are storing up. Just remember that You are still You - just mommy you right now. BTW that photo is adorable.

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  3. That is a very adorable "day Job." =)

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