Tuesday, July 31, 2012

le baptême

{a fairy tale christening}
I have failed you my friends. La Petite was christened and I was without a camera to capture all of The LPV goodness (and trust me, there was loads) so I will do my utmost to describe it as best as I can.

By the way, me not having my camera can be blamed on wardrobe malfunctions... first Gregory's and then mine; Gregory slipped his foot into his suede loafer and the stitching split like he was the Incredible Hulk or something. Monumental huffing and puffing ensued as I desperately attempted to safety pin it together without the pin showing. And all the while I was doing that, (with an Incredible Hulk huffing puffing monster freaking out about his shoe) I was frantically trying to find a bra that worked under my dress (the dress was a brilliant blue color, lined on the bottom, but ever so slightly sheer on top. I have know idea why I didn't suss that out before the morning of the Christening, but I didn't).

So there I was, changing in and out of my dress over and over again, switching bras, and in between each change, running over to Gregory, trying to pin his shoe together. Add 30°C (90°F) and no AC and you get the drift. It was the opposite of calm.

And now you know why I forgot my camera, but be happy in the knowledge that I eventually found an appropriate undergarment and was victorious over the safety pin and the shoe so Gregory did not go to the church looking like a hobo.

But here's the irony of the situation... even if I was wearing a bra that wasn't quite right, and Gregory looked like a hobo due to a split seam in his suede loafer, we still would have been the most appropriately dressed pair there (besides Papa and Papa's Wife, they both looked lovely). Some of the inappropriateness was G L O R I O U S.

Child Bride's grandmother (not the one who used to own the Epicerie, the other one) wore a blue t-shirt with silver stars on it and capri jeans... a t-shirt and jeans to her great-grandchild's christening in a Catholic Church (at least she didn't wear the leopard print fedora she wore to Child Bride's wedding). However, Child Bride's other grandmother (the one who did use to own the Epicerie) was wearing a beautiful white pantsuit, but she failed to actually go into the church. She and her sisters sat outside the bar across the square having coffee during the ceremony. Color me aghast.

And then my favorite... Child Bride's sixteen year old cousin walked into the church wearing a sheer black, strapless mini dress, with a neon green slip under it that matched her six inch neon green heels (that's right... six inch). When I saw her I thought for a moment that I had been magically transported to either 1) a nightclub in Essex or 2) a Gypsy wedding. But no, I was in a Catholic Church and a sixteen year old girl had walked in like she was doing the walk of shame. Say it with me... G L O R I O U S.

Clearly, my pearls were wasted on the day.

But La Petite was too cute for words in her white Broderie Anglaise romper and little white Mary Janes. I just wanted to eat her up she was so cute, especially when she kept shouting; "NO NO NO" like a child possessed every time the priest tried to get near her, so naturally, I desperately wanted to shout, "Out Ye Devil!". But I didn't because that would have been inappropriate.

And that's pretty much all I wanted to tell you about the day... La Petite's soul is safe, Great-Grandmothers do not always know best, a little black dress is not always a classic, and sometimes at a Christening's after-after party, this can happen...

{you're welcome}



P.S. Thank you Sarah B. for capturing Brother-in-Law in all of his glory


  1. I am sure it was a lovely day though I am sad you forgot your camera. C'est la vie. Bonne journée. Diane

  2. That was a great post!! I was chuckling all the way through it!! Love the "little black dress" - you truly have a gift in writing! Having a 11 year old daughter who would love to be 16 tomorrow - it's always great to point out the absurd in clothing choices. Thanks for the morning chuckle!

  3. Dude. La Petite's dad (aka Brother-in-law) is like a photographer's happy place...I mean, how can you not take a bad photo of that guy when he gives you so much photo fodder?? love it. Some of my favorite memories of all time...


  4. All that and you forgot your camera. How could you!
    Is Gregory trying to exorcise the devil out of that dude?

  5. Wow. Neon green shoes to match the slip? i Love this. what a show to see!

  6. Seriously, you get all the good parties in LPV. I don't know how you thought you were living before you moved there. Thank God La Petite has you!

  7. As usual, you had me laughing from start to finish! Pictures, especially of La Petite would have been nice. But your descriptions of the rest of the gang were priceless. Have a good day.

  8. i enjoy LPV bapteme through your words even without pictures.

  9. Loving the outfit descriptions! That little carriage is lovely, I can't tell if it's porcelain or paper, but I want in it anyway.

  10. this is all kinds of brilliant. When you described the 16 year old's outfit, I immediately thought of gypsies.

  11. It would have been HILARIOUS had you shouted. I love a bit of shouting at Christenings :-)

  12. LOL i wish you had gotten pictures of all that gloriousness. I mean, really. Hooker shoes and a lime green slip? It doesn't get much better. The cinderella coach is adorable, though!! Sounds like it was beautiful (despite the outfits and the urges to perform an exorcism).

  13. Hello hello! Wow, you are one lucky girl - living in Provence! This is one of my favourite places on earth (as evidenced by all my post dedications to the area). Where are you based in Provence? I will be heading down to spend a week there, just 30min from Avignon, at the end of August. Cannot wait!



    1. We're a little under 90 minutes from Avignon, not too far from Apt.

  14. So funny. I'm laughing at the walk of shame comment. Never a dull moment in the LPV!! xo

  15. Ahahahahaha! This post is cracking me up! I had to read it twice to absorb all the details.

    I'm sure your face spoke volumes in reaction to this insanity! How could you hide it? The ladies waiting at the bar across the street!! Wtf?!

    We have a family friend who wore a white disco pant suit to my aunt's funeral and sat in the front row of the church. AND THEN, same woman wore jeans and a t-shirt to my cousin's black tie wedding last year. I swear she's invited to functions just so we can see how inappropriate she will dress! Lol!

  16. Lol! goodness.. this is so funny!

    Enjoy your day :)


  17. Oh my goodness, I don't know how you do it, but you manage to make me laugh over and over! I would have loved to see some pictures but thankfully I have a graphic mind and your descriptions go a long way!

  18. The fact that you succeeded in your undergarment dilemma AND the safety pin struggle made the whole story OK. Little victories. :D

  19. Oh my, that Baptism sounds like too much fun. I can't get over how weird it is to hear your refer to your husband as Gregory. Although in my head, I do say it with a French accent.

  20. Oh my goodness, I LOVE IT! That is totally something that would happen with my family! My mom is SUPER formal and everything has to be perfect for ever event, no matter how mundane... And my in-laws are not nearly as uptight! It's actually pretty funny when I freak out about having them over and the hubby just shakes his head at me because his family won't notice that the mail is piled too high on the desk or that the cats have scratched the back of the couch. Oy, family is funny!

    The baptism sounds hilarious, and although I would have loved pictures, you told the story beautifully! Maybe it's better this way, my imagination is really having a field day with the black dress and the t shirt!!

    <3 <3 <3


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