Tuesday, March 20, 2012

bully



Today we're talking about bullying.

(My friends Sarah and Samantha have recently blogged about this also, but I feel that with a topic this important, the more that the word spreads, the better.) 

This is what's happening in a nutshell.... A film that documents the epidemic of bullying in schools has been made, it's called Bully.  Unfortunately, due to language the Motion Picture Association of America has given the film an 'R' rating. That 'R' rating means that children under the age of 17 will not be able to see the film. This also means that Bully will not be able to be shown to students at schools across America where it has the potential to have a large impact in helping students.  

There is currently a petition to give Bully a PG-13 rating, if the MPAA accepts it and changes it's rating, Bully has the potential to do some real good. 

Bullying isn't just about a few bad days at school, it can have a lasting effect on some one's life. If you think of school as preparation for college and future, what happens if a child or teenager doesn't want to go to school, because every day that they go, they are tormented, made fun of, laughed at, and ridiculed. What type of effect is that going to have on their grades? Their chances of getting into college? According to the bully project, three million students are absent from school each month, because they don't want to go to class and face their tormentors. That doesn't bode well for their future does it?

I was bullied for years. Most people don't know this because it's not something I talk about, but I was. In sixth grade I left private school and started at public school and I was bullied, made fun of everyday because I was ugly. I didn't have any friends and everyday I ate lunch with my teacher. Now I loved Mrs. Post, but children should be out playing with other children, not inside eating lunch with their 50 year old teacher (although it could explain why I've always gotten along better with people that are much older than me). 

And then the next year when I moved to Texas, I was bullied some more, but I started to defend myself by adopting a tough New York attitude and was then mostly left alone. It wasn't really until high school when the bullying stopped. And thank heavens, because I honestly don't know if I would have been able to handle it, what would have happened to me, and how very different my life could have turned out.

So please, take a moment and sign the petition

bisou

22 comments:

  1. Going to sign for sure, but I do think that many of us, that were victims of bullying, (and I think almost everyone was...we are the 99%) found strength is ways that while not traditional, have served us well. I'm not at all advocating or defending, just pointing out that those taunts and that picking has instigated a certain bite for some of us. A bite that pushed this, "Ugly" girl to fight for herself, and another "ugly" girl to follow her heart to France. Wonder what those that picked on us are doing now?

    Like I said, not at all advocating or defending, I'm just concerned that we are over protecting at times and fearful of the bite-less people we might be raising because of it. My background along with having a biracial son have taught me plenty about bullying, more than I even care to share (if you can believe that Sara!) but I think learning some resilience is essential in creating drive. That being said, I do think the movie should not have a R rating and should be mandatory for school viewing. Thanks for posting this girlie.

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  2. I've signed the petition. I was luckily never bullied (I had a parent that was a teacher, so I was kind of off-limits) but I know it's a major problem. I hope that when my daughter gets to school that it never happens to her...I signed the petition for her.

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  3. I've signed. So glad you've managed to put your horrid childhood experiences behind you - as you say some people aren't so lucky. Bullying is awful and I hope this film helps to stop it! xxx

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  4. Samantha Dugan, from your words it sounds like you are defending 'a bit of bullying' to toughen up kids, to give them some 'bite'. If 99% of kids are bullied, as you suggest, surely that means that practically everyone gets bite, and the only ones who don't are the bullies.

    Personally, I don't think kids need bite from bullies. They get enough challenging interaction from family, especially siblings and friends.

    Bullying a kid is harassment. It's not tolerated at work, it shouldn't be tolerated at school. End of.

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  5. Not easy to admit I was a bully at school. It is absolutely nothing I am proud of. After 25 years of counselling, I understand now that the girl I picked on had something that I didnt. A functional family, people to come home to instead of an empty house, a mother that wasn't crying and screaming at me every minute of every day. After my Dad passed away when I was 12, I lashed out at everyone and everything I could and 13/14 year olds dont 'get' that pain. I still regret every single action to this day and I wish I could tell the girl I picked on how sorry I am. I think of her often and hope that she is living the best life.

    I am a huge advocate of anti-bullying and a huge advocate of finding out what lies at the root of the bullies hurt. This is great Sara. Anything hurtful at any age is abuse and the key to fixing abuse at the root is education. Ive signed. And may sign many more times under aliases. xx

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  6. First things first...new site! new site! new site! It looks great!! Congrats on the face lift! : )

    And second...I'm sorry to hear that you were bullied and forced to eat lunch with Mrs. Post. That's just heartbreaking. Kids can be so mean..I can't even imagine how they are now with all of this technology.

    When I moved from Manhattan to Long Island in 7th grade, the little "mean girls" attempted to bully me because my mom couldn't afford 200 dollar jeans and I wore hand me downs, but they learned fast not to mess with an Italian girl with a quick tongue who grew up in a Puerto Rican neighborhood. It was awesome. I was the first person that spoke up against these little bitches and they steered clear of me and my friends throughout high school.

    Saying that, I'm like totes friends with these girls on facebook today...! No, really.. :)

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  7. Love the new look on the blog SL, and love the idea of this movie - it really does need to be show in schools to make the most difference. Looking at it from the other angle, I wonder why they can't modify the language to have it meet the standard - I know this may take some of the shock from it (nothing like hearing a 12 yr old dropping the c-bomb, it really makes you cringe) but this change would surely be overridden by the immense good seeing this movie in schools would do. Even inserting the old 'bleep' noise over the offending word would still leave the scene in tact (complete with horrible tone and facial expressions that I imagine went with the word, which people really need to see) but meet the standards? I dunno, but I really hope they find a way to get this shown in schools. Thanks for helping to raise awareness.

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  8. Happy to sign the petition. Bullying is totally out of hand.

    As a "fat girl", I got some, too, but fortunately back in the 1700's when I was in junior high parents still took a stronger hand in expecting teenage girls to behave; teachers still had the authority to stop a lot of it; and people were nicer and kinder in general. Today too many kids are totally on their own from the minute they walk out the door in the mornings and there is no social expectation that people will respect each other.

    thanks for passing this along. And, great new look, Sara!

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  9. Love the new look! Thanks for highlighting this subject! As a parent it is one of the main things I am always fearful of!! Have a great week:)
    ~Anne

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  10. Your page looks awesome - love the design. You so pretty lady!

    I signed. As a teacher I have seen first-hand the debilitating and soul destroying effects of bullying - it is something I have zero tolerance for.

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  11. I signed! I think this is definitely an important issue, and this documentary is something that kids everywhere should see. I see bullying all the time at school, and it seriously just hits me so hard.

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  12. First off, the new blog design is phenomenal! Really wonderful for you to be posting this...I had tears in my eyes because I love when important issues are finally brought into awareness for a permanent change. I too was bullied all through elementary school and had to consciously work out the low self-esteem that caused for years. I will sign that petition!

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  13. Thanks for getting this out here and spreading the word. I believe it's tantamount that young people get to see this and that it does hopefully get played in schools across America. Bullying is not like it used to be back in the day when kids would taunt you and tell you to meet them at the flagpole. Kids these days have gotten extremely devious (who gets the idea to set fire to someone or threaten to shoot them?) and with the onset of social media, it is only making it harder. Instead of whispered words between certain groups, now kids have to worry about it spreading like wildfire on Facebook, Twitter and Youtube. It's just sad!! I was never really bullied in school, neither was I a bully. I was just that middle grounder that observed my surroundings and hated what I saw sometimes.

    I'm sorry to hear that you were bullied. I would never have thought it. You are so pretty and funny and clever with words!! How dare those dumb kids! I bet they'd be pretty apologetic now, so hopefully that counts for something. Anywhoo, I love your new page! I want a facelift on mine. How did you do it? How much did it cost you?

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  14. Thank you for sharing this trailer. It made me cry as I was horrifically bullied as a kid. It was awful. I could not get on the school bus, walk to class, or even sit in class without someone spreading a rumor about me or throwing things or hitting me or sexually assaulting me. It was terrible. I would not be here today, alive and functioning, if my parents hadn't pulled me out and let me go to boarding school. Think about it, my hometown is rural and that was my only option. Some people aren't so lucky.

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  15. Thanks for sharing Sara. This is so sad. I absolutely can't stand mean kids or mean adults (cuz that's what they grow up to be). It really burns me up that people would treat others so badly. And for the record, I can't believe that you were ever ugly! You are such a cute little thing!! I think those other kids were just jealous of your cuteness!
    Ashley (backyardprovence)

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  16. That was hard even watching that Trailer. Although I was bullied in school, you know, that whole gay thing, I fought back. That's what you did back in the day. Now kids kill themselves! I don't know when that came along but I'm more nervous now for my kids than I ever was for myself. Especially for my oldest who, although towers over his classmates, is way too sensitive to what they say.
    Thanks for posting this.
    mark

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  17. Signed! I'm glad to see how much support there is for getting bullying under control and educating kids about preventing bullies from damaging their lives and the lives of their friends. Middle school was rough to say the least!

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  18. Ok, I just had a major senior moment. I just spent five whole minutes frantically looking for your site on my blog roll completely forgetting that I had replaced it with your fancy button!

    Ah, turning 30...

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  19. I love your new design! It's great!! Thank you for sharing this. I'd never want to go back to middle school or high school. Kids can be so mean... so glad you were able to defend yourself and show them who's boss!

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  20. Sara, I think it was brave of you to tell us about being bullied. While you've obviously thrived, I'm sure the memory is still painful for you. Have signed the petition and hope there is success getting the movie shown in schools. On a different note, I thought I'd entered another dimension when I clicked on my bookmark for your site :-) After the initial surprise, I think it's lovely........I like all the girlie lavender/pink!

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  21. There is much interest across the country to get this into the schools, and it is recommended that parents watch this documentary with their children. Thank you for opening the discussion here and I bow to your bravery. I send you hugs for what you suffered. Thank you, sweet friend.

    Love your new format and layout.

    Bises,
    Genie

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  22. What an important and great post, Sara. I agree it's very important that younger children see this. Kids can be horrible. You are brave for sharing your story, I am glad you came to the point where you managed to stand up against it. <3

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