I've been awarded the Versatile Blogger Award by Kara at Scattered Joy. Thank you Kara. But today, (or whatever day you read this) we should all give thanks to Kara because my seven secrets are going to be seven things that you need to know if you ever find yourself in Le Petit Village for an extended period of time, which could totally happen, because you never know. You know?
1. You must have a stocked refrigerator. The little local épicerie is only open from 8am until noon and closed altogether on Wednesdays. Plus, there isn't anything good in there anyway. And don't count on Le Petit Bar serving you food... that is completely on the whim of The Parisian. Case in point... Saturday afternoon, I headed over to read my book and have a beer in the sun (I'm reading Pillars of the Earth if you're interested). It was a little after 1pm and a couple of tourists approached. I bonjoured them as they walked into the bar looking for lunch (see, Le Petit Bar, is actually a restaurant). They were turned away and told that lunch was not being served. That would have been kind of fine if The Parisian, his mother, sister and Mrs Parisian weren't all sitting there dining themselves. Oh well, another customer lost, way to go Le Petit Bar. No gold star for you. So basically what I'm saying is, if you have an empty fridge and are hungry, you're S.O.L.
3. Muster up some patience because 1) it takes forever to get anywhere, 2) we're on South of France time (basically that means everybody here is late, except for me), and 3) check out number 1 above.
2. Get yourself some Wifi (or weefee en français). Trust me on this one.
4. Learn French, or befriend the local English speaker (that would be me). Knowing French will enable you to yell at The Parisian when he tells you that he has run out of Heineken, Rosé, or Coke (I am not joking... homeboy has actually run out of all three of these at one time or another, and we can add Leffe, Whiskey and white wine to that list as well).
5. You must be able to entertain yourself. See numbers 2, and 3 above. And number 4 does turn into a bit of a hobby (albeit a boring, frustrating one). So actually, see numbers 2 - 4 above.
6. Develop a tolerance for high winds. The Mistral has been shaking my house for the past 24 hours. It's like the big bad wolf is parked outside and every time I bring Fifty for a walk in this, I'm scared he's going to get swept up and fly away (although watching Fifty fly would help with number 5).
7. Make sure to bring your camera, you don't want to miss any of this:
Glorious, isn't it?
And a bonus: if you see a Nazi Ghost Zombie, run (this probably should have been number 1).
Do you have any versatile thoughts?