Thursday, April 28, 2011

tourner à droite numbnuts

Numbnuts. The Husband called me numbnuts on our drive to French Mommy's house. I don't remember why, or what I did,  but it was like Mozart to my ears to hear one of my favorite words come out of The Husband's mouth, French accent and all. But then a little later, he turned out to be the numbnuts, and here's why...

Anytime we drive for a bit of a distance, (which is every time we get in the car really since Le Petit Village is in the middle of back a** nowhere) I like to plug in the GPS and fiddle with it. Not that we don't know where we're going, it's just that I like to know exactly how long it's going to take for us to get there. So we're driving to French Mommy's and making the best time ever (1. because we left at 5:30 in the morning getting quite the headstart on the traffic and 2. Fifty only threw up once on the way. Only once, and not at all on the way back. Way to go Fifty) and I was fiddling with the GPS and seeing how long it would take us to drive to London if I so wished, when the GPS whispered "tourner à droite" (that's turn right to you and me). But that tourner à droite was to go to London not to go to French Mommy's and even though The Husband has driven the route so many times and knew exactly where he was going, he listened to the GPS and well, he tourner à droite-ed.

And I looked at him and asked why he tourner à droite-ed and he said because 'my toy' told him to. And I said, so? And he looked confused and a little irritated but I called him numbnuts anyway. Because really. You don't just go tourner à droite-ing when you know where it is you're supposed to be going.

It took us over a half an hour to get back on track. That little tourner à droite drove us all through Clermont-Ferrand where we hit every traffic light that was put in our way. But on the bright side, even though I didn't get to London, we did end up driving by Clermont's rugby stadium, and got to stare at it for awhile as we sat at the traffic light in front of it. So silver cloud, you know, but, Parra and Rougerie didn't walk by. That would have been like a diamond cloud dipped in fairy dust.

And there you have it. We finally made it to French Nana's bar, just in time for lunch (beef tongue for The Husband as usual... Y U C K) and had a wonderful weekend in the French Mommy manner, lots of relaxing and spoiling including this Easter cake...

And chocolate rugby boots for my numbnuts. 



  1. I just found your blog.

    I love you already.

    Numbnuts. Ha.

  2. do you remember that old saying "so if the GPS told you to jump off a bridge, would you?". Please Sara - turn it off!
    Love it
    Miss T

  3. We bring our GPS when we drive through Europe; it has an Australian accent and we've named him Kenneth. I have nightmares of my dad swerving through Italy and poor Kenneth saying "Take a right on the roundabout!" I wonder if there's a French equivalent to numbnuts... your posts always crack me up. :)

  4. Haha oh no, that's something I would do! (and have done..). Ahh, GPS's are evil! Loving your favourite word, I laughed so much!

  5. haha way to go husband! We got lost in Montpellier even with the GPS, we never turned when it told us :P

  6. That story is hilarious! My darling hubby loathes the gps... I on the other hand, love the little toy! I like to know where we're going, how long it's going to take, and I like watching the little car drive along our path... what can I say? It's a fun toy, even if it's directions are almost always terrible.
    I do have to say I feel a little better knowing that gps is wrong in other people's cars, even in other countries... At least you got to see some fun stuff and Fifty only threw up once! I'd say that sounds like a great day!

    <3 MuffinLovesBiscuit

  7. what a beautiful cake!

    was it yummy?

  8. That is hilarious. Just so you know, one of my most favorite vacation games is every time my husband gets out of the car I change the GPS, (aka The Girlfriend. Mouthy wench that is often wrong) to Japanese. I just sit there waiting to see how long it takes him to notice....never gets old.

  9. So funny. I'm a map person myself for precisely that reason! My favorite word is shitballs. I use it all the time and I love it when my french friends now say it...sounds like" sheet bowls". Kind of has a ring to it, don't you think?

  10. numbnuts! ah, the good old days of name-calling have come back. happy friday, friend!

  11. I had to chuckle over this post. We have to talk to our GPS when we are on the road to location we sort of know how to get there but use the GPS for back up. When you make the wrong turn and it keeps trying to herd you back but you KNOW the way it was going to take you was the scenic route or the route less taken and that silly GPS keeps beeping and telling you. yours was more funny because A) you were playing and really hubby should know the way B) that he actually turned! Even though HE knew better!

    This is why women are the stronger and wiser ...really. We just shouldn't burst their bubble and manliness...we have to contain our little smile inside and love them more.

  12. Sara, surely you have long ago discovered the defective Y-chromosome? Nuff said.

    A thought on Fifty's car sickness... have you tried putting a piece of carpeting in the part of the car where Fifty rides? We found that when our dogs could get "purchase" with their toes/claws they did just fine in the car, but they struggled when they only had the slick fabric and slid around. We got a small piece of carpet and put it "in the back" for them. Just a thought...

  13. I love this post for so many reasons...

    (1) the word numbnuts makes me laugh (2) GPSs are ridiculous and it makes me laugh (3) French and English words in the same sentence -- love it! (4) "...a diamond cloud dipped in fairy dust." CUTE! (5) chocolate!

  14. I'm with you on the GPS! I turn it on, even if I'm only going 20 minutes, to see if maybe, MAYBE, I can make the drive in 17 minutes or whatever.


  15. Numbnuts! Love it and can only imagine it with his French accent... He does "get it" doesn't he. I mean it's best when you are name-calling as when he does... Well what does he think it means?

    I was still giggling when I read Delana's shitballs... Now I am howling!

    Love the cake...


  16. good lord that cake looks tasty. and yes, numbnuts is a word to be reckoned with--it's that good.

  17. In my household, GPS SatNavs are classified as "marital aids" - as in they save marriages.

    The little chocolate rugby boots and ball for your numbnuts is probably the cutest thing I've seen in ages - did his mummy buy that for him? Adorable.

  18. Can't not love this. Numbnuts, cake, chocolate, French - all in one delicious little post. MuAH!

  19. My, my, I can't believe you don't like beef tongue. You never had tacos de lengua back in Texas? Poor deprived thing! During the frequent episodes of poverty when I was growing up, we frequently had tongue for dinner, and all the Eastern European countries (and the Jews who lived in them) have yummy preparations for it. Maybe the French just don't know how to make it.

  20. I'm guilty of always listening to my GPS toy! Husband not such a numbnut.

  21. well, at least you've got him well-trained by now to follow orders unquestionningly.

  22. Adorable. But no GPS in France is reliable. Don't know why.
    Husbands cannot just ask for directions.

  23. I'm with you on the beef tongue. *Shudder*.

    As for the GPS...this is how the machines win you know. In all epic Science Fiction movies, machine intelligence wins when we just start blindly following without thinking.

    That cake looks like heaven, btw.

  24. hehe - nothing says i love you better than chocolate rugby boots ;-)

  25. I haven't heard numbnuts for so long! I'm a numbnuts at times for certain.

    And I LOVE my GPS, but I CANNOT listen to that bossy little woman. I leave her on silent.

    But I LOVE her.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Pin It button on image hover