Wednesday, March 30, 2011

a little more time

I'm back in France and tired. I'm more tired than I've ever felt before. But I wanted to say thank you for all your messages, thoughts, and prayers,  they truly mean a lot to me.

I'm not sure when I'm going to feel like me again, but as soon as I do, I'll be back here, telling you all about The Husband's and my anniversary trip to Lyon (feels like a dream now), and laughing again.

And I might even tell you about the eulogy I gave for my father, and how in trying to hold back my tears (completely unsuccessfully) and taking deep breaths, I managed to make little piggy snorting noises. Nothing breaks the ice like little piggy snorting noises. I'm sure my dad was laughing.

à bientôt

gros bisous

42 comments:

  1. I am so so sorry for your loss. Losing someone so very special is so incredibly hard and I understand exactly how you don't feel yourself right now! You will never forget but you will learn to live with it....time is the healer.

    I sure your father is hugely proud of you right now and laughing with you.

    If there is anything I can do, let me know.

    GROS, GROS bisous
    xxxxx

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  2. I'm so sorry for your loss.
    I bet everyone keeps telling you, that you should take your time and what not. But you should, definitely. It's something I didnt. And so my soul wasn't able to catch up with everything for a long time...
    I lost my father in 2008, he died after a sudden heart-attack. So I can totally relate to your feelings.
    So if I can do anything for you, even if it's just chatting or cheering you up - just let me know!! That's true, you'll never forget. But one day the grief will turn into something like "remember the good old times with a warm feeling inside". :)

    Feel hugged! I send you lots of love!! Get well soon.

    XO.

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  3. Sara,
    I am so sorry to hear about your father. I am sure you are heart broken. Right now just focus on the beautiful times with your dad and write them in your journal so you will always have them!!

    Sending big hugs to you from me

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  4. Take all the time you need, we'll be here.

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  5. Sara, my thoughts are with you.
    XXX

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  6. Thinking of you .. take all the time you need.

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  7. I want to tell you that you'll feel better in no time...but you won't.
    It takes a long time to start feeling better, and the crying will come at the most inopportune moments. But you will feel start to feel like yourself again eventually.
    Take the time you need.
    My only advice, is to remember the happy times, and to laugh. Your father wants you to be happy.
    Drop me line if you feel like chatting.
    XO
    R

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  8. Was thinking about you today and wondering how you were doing. We have to allow ourselves time, Sara. Your friends (and blog buddies) all understand that we have to live our lives beyond the blog too. Sending you a warm hug in the meantime.

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  9. It will take a fair while to feel like you again, but then somehow a new you happens - without you wanting it to. I am so very very sorry you lost your dad. Dads are so special. I am sure he WAS laughing at your snort. If you ever feel lost as how to cope, you can email me, a complete stranger if you like. Offload, query, blabber - whatever. I lost my brother in an accident and I was so confused as to how to deal with everything.

    See you when you feel like it. Keep your heart going .. beating .. warm (-:

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  10. i'm sharing all your feelings as i lost my mother when i was younger... I'm sure your dad is still watching you waiting to hear your laugh again...

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  11. Take your time to heal. We'll all be waiting here for you :) Since I cannot give it to you directly, I'd like to mentally hand you a block of delicious cheese and a magnum of champagne. Yes, a magnum.

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  12. Glad you're back. Someday you'll be able to think of all the good times you spent with your dad, and the bad ones will start to fade.

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  13. I'm so sorry, Sara. You're in my thoughts and prayers, and if I could, I'd send you a hug and an issue of Real Simple (because I remember you mentioned that you can't get it in France).

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  14. Oh you poor darling. Take care of yourself, everything else can wait.

    Don't give a second thought to the piggy noises. It's the snot bubbles you have to worry about. At least there weren't any snot bubbles.

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  15. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.
    I delivered the eulogy at my grandfather's funeral, and it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. <3
    I'm still thinking about you, love!

    http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
    Twitter: @GlamKitten88

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  16. I am so sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine the pain you are going through right now.

    I know these are some hard moments,think about him and smile!

    xoxo
    Maurenice
    www.villa-bisono.com

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  17. I am glad to hear you are back home safely with your husband. I'm sure you will be going through many challenging and difficult emotions that I can't fathom, having not experienced the loss of parent.
    I think of you often...please take good care of yourself and spend some time with the husband and Fifty. Dogs are good to have around when you're sad. They always listen and don't care if you wrap your arms around them and drip tears and snot all over their fur.

    xo, A

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  18. Sara, Take your time healing a bit. My thoughts are with you.

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  19. Thinking of you dear Sara. It takes time, take all you need. Keeping you in my heart.

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  20. Sweet, piggy Sara - so very sorry for your loss and for this difficult time you are going thru. Please know the huge amount of support "out here" and that you can draw on all of us for help during the next weeks and months as you re-weave the tapestry of your life to reflect the new role your dad will be playing in your life. it ain't fun, and one never "gets over" it, but we do heal and we do move on. And, you will, too. xoxoxo

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  21. I am so sorry. Sometimes it's good to talk. Just know we're all here and would love to hear stories about your Dad. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Best regards.

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  22. Sending you more love and hugs and thoughts and prayers.

    Give time, time,

    xo Jane

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  23. Sara,
    Glad you are back safe! Take care of yourself and when it's time for you to be back, you will know and we will be here! The thought of giving a eulogy was something that had never crossed my mind but I ended up being the one to do it for my favorite Aunt. Everyone ended up having a good laugh, (she was the one we always did fun, crazy stuff with), except my mom who said "I didn't know you all did that or that, you would have been in trouble"! (and even though I was way to old, I was for a few days afterwards)!
    You are in my thoughts.
    Rebecca

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  24. ugh, i am SO sorry. i wish there was something simple that someone could say to make everything easier, but unfortunately this is one of those things only time can help with.

    my condolences.

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  25. I'm sure he loved every second of your eulogy :)

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  26. I'm sorry for your loss. Take all the time you need. Hugs.

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  27. My heart is breaking for you.

    In the meantime, think of this with your little piggy snorting noises:

    "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion." - Truvy in Steel Magnolias (Dolly Parton)

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  28. Words cannot express my sadness for you, my dear. I can't articulate how bad I feel, or the heaviness of my heart for you.
    I know you are a strong person and will pull through - but take your time doing so and know that you have all of our support.
    You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, my dear.

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  29. Deepest condolences for your loss! May your circle of family and friends help you through this time of sadness.

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  30. Dear Sara,
    believe me ... only TIME can help you! I tell you that I was like you last year in March. Today after 1 year I feel better. You'll see that the pain will diminish, not because you suffer no more, but because it will live in a different way. As if you gripped less.
    Bisous, Babi

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  31. Give yourself time, Sara. Feel what you have to feel. I know those piggy noises well... tee hee. I am sure your Dad was chuckling from up above. Keeping you in my prayers. xo

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  32. Even though your dad is no longer here, he will always be with you. One day you'll be sitting outside, enjoy the fresh air, and a soft breeze will blow across the back of your nec and it will bring your dad to your thoughts. Instead of tears, precious moments with him will come to mind.

    I'm thinking of you and you're in my prayers.

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  33. Take one day at a time and make time for yourself.
    Embrace the wobbly moments they come at the oddest times but you'll find you will be smiling at the end of them.

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  34. i didnt hear any "oink oink" so i think your good. they were very endearing piggy noises anyways! i know i was certainly fighting back tears. it was a wonderful eulogy!!

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  35. oh hey this is your cousin candace btw haha sry shoulda mentioned that first

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  36. My sweet dear, I am so sorry and I did not know until just now... Hugs and prayers to you.

    I am sure that your dad was happy to hear the snorting noises...

    Big hugs,
    Genie

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  37. Hey Sara. Just reading this now. I am so so sorry for your loss.

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  38. Its amazing to me that you were able to eulogize your father! That shows incredible strength. You're in my prayers! Hugs.

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