Saturday, February 12, 2011

language lessons

In my last French class, I learned all about la réciprocité (example; Nicolas Sarkozy déteste Ségolène Royal. Ségolène Royal déteste Nicolas Sarkozy. Nicolas et Ségolène se detestent). Interesting, no? Sure. But let's take a look at what The Husband is listening to on his English language lesson CD:

(Please note: This is an advanced English CD which from listening to, is obviously geared towards people who will be traveling to America. Also, I swear on my shoes that I have not made any of this stuff up. I have copied the text verbatim from the CD. Besides, I honestly don't think I could have imagined this little cultural lesson, even if I tried.)
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"If you see an officer behind you with his lights flashing, that usually means he wants you to pull over."

Usually?

"Don't try to run away because he'll go after you and call in more officers to help him catch you."

That doesn't sound scary at all.

"Whatever traffic law you broke, running from a police officer will make it worse and could get you killed in the process."

W T F ???

"Don't just jump out of the car because the officer may think you have a gun."

Um, OK.

"In the U.S., you should not try to give the officer some money so he won't giver you a ticket. Bribing a police officer is very illegal and you could go to jail if you try."

Good to know.
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I believe this portion of the lesson is entitled, "Running from the Po-Po."

(I may have made that last bit up)

bisou



36 comments:

  1. Haha hilarious! I'm happy to know that being killed is unavoidable if you run from the police. I feel like all those Hollywood movies have been lying to me for ages!

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  2. Was this an English lesson or a lesson on US driving rules? Seems they might apply elsewhere ... France?

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  3. ROFL Running from the PoPo indeed. That's hilarious, makes the US sound rather scary. They should reccomend crying if your a female, as you might get out of the ticket. Just kidding! lol

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  4. That is amazing! No wonder the world thinks we are all a bunch of crazy nuts!

    I like Habebi's recommendation to cry if you are a female... there may be some truth in that!

    Bises,
    G

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  5. LOL! My husband did get pulled over in the USA and he got out of the car. Which was followed by the police officers asking him to put his hands above his head, etc...

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  6. I feel like they are trying to terrify potential immigrants. That is hilarious, shame they didn't include the importance of not using your passenger as a hostage.

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  7. Sh**, woman. Yesterday it was Sandra with her Monkey - today it's you who wins my imaginary "First Outloud Hyena Laugh of the Day" award. I'm off to create it now. I don't even want to know which program he's using... XXOO

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  8. Um, geez wouldn't your average french be able to figure out most of that (except maybe the last one) without needing to be specifically told? I mean, I doubt a French policeman would be too thrilled if he pulled a car over and the person jumped out and ran away either.

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  9. ROFL, most of that isn't entirely untrue, but certainly way exaggerated, ha ha! Although, I'd say... the part about more officers is probably extremely rare... and seriously... getting shot? wow... that's pretty intense, lol For a traffic incident, that is... now if they thought you were running drugs, that might be a different matter!

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  10. I live in the Bay Area - about 75 miles from Oakland which is a very dangerous place in certain neighborhoods - lately there have been lots of police-related shootings. Perhaps the English teacher is from Oakland, non?

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  11. This may be my favorite thing ever.
    No wonder people are terrified when they come to America.

    http://glamkittenslitterbox.blogspot.com/
    Twitter: @GlamKitten88

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  12. It's all kind of true in an awkward kind of way...

    maybe they should teach this is English classes in High Schools here?

    xo Jane

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  13. Hysterical made even more so because every bit of the lesson it true! Ha! Europeans must think we Americans are el loco. But don't laugh at us because it could make it worse and get you killed in the process.

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  14. LOL, I'm glad that's all been cleared up.

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  15. I know a few N. Americans that could benefit from this lesson...
    Does this mean that bribery is a common, perfectly legal way to deal with the police in France? That could actually save us some money!

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  16. LMAO. And you know, Sara? I can't help but wonder if the French are secretly laughing at us over something just as goofy.

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  17. I'm too young to die officer!

    Holy Hannah anyway.

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  18. LOL! Very funny post! Aren't language lessons a hoot!? I've just started with French lessons. Instructor is from La Citotat and is really nice. As soon as I'm confident with a whole phrase, I'll write you!

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  19. youhou! I'm not sure i want to mess with an american police officer ! this CD is kinda funny (?)

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  20. OMG! What must they think of us? On the other hand, I noticed when I was back in Minnesota (a legal carry state) all the signs on the doors of the churches and other establishments asking citizens to please not to bring their guns inside. Okay, maybe their attitude toward us is not all that skewed!

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  21. Running from the Po Po indeed! YOu're right, you can't make that shit up!!! Hilar!

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  22. Hilarious! My Swedish text books were very very funny and full of stereotypes as well.

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  23. Hahaha oh my gosh, if only my French classes could be as ridiculous as this! They'd be a million times more entertaining.

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  24. Ahahaha that is hilarious!! I love the 'they will kill you' part.
    Though after going overseas (won't mention the country!) I realise that the bribing thing may need to be explained...

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  25. good lord - you'd think people would cancel their trip to the u.s. after hearing that -- but it's actually hilarious --- i wish they made greek tapes with similar dialogue, it would make it far more interesting to learn the language than with the usual 'where is the bathroom?'

    i used to have a book called the international insult dictionary -- out of print probably now but it had my sisters and me in stitches all the time ;-)

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  26. Terrific! When I learned French my first text book began 'My tailor is rich' and continued, 'Have you seen the small baby in the corner of the room?'.

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  27. That had me giggling at my desk. I feel this is giving foreigners a very interesting depiction of America...

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  28. So how do you say OMG or WTF in French? Just curious.

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  29. OMG that's hysterical! I especially love the "usually" means he wants to pull you over. Sounds like a high quality learning tool - think they make one for those of us trying to learn french?

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  30. OMG that is soo funny... really!! WTF are very appropiate phrases. xxx

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  31. Lol! All good advice. Useful information for people learning English in countries like Mexico and Egypt for example where corruption is the norm.

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  32. hahahaha this is fun fun fun! trying to scare possible immigrants! :P

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  33. Well I am French and I used to live in the US, and I can tell you this kind of advice is a must for foreign visitors/residents. I heard at least 2 accounts of foreign students being almost shot by police officers when they got out of their car.
    In the US, when you get pulled over, as opposed to say, France, nothing happens. The cop parks behind you, with its lights flashing, and you wait. The wait can be quite long. Several minutes. You are supposed to wait for someone to come to your car. I heard the story of Mexican students who got in serious trouble because, as nothing was happening, they decided to walk to the Police car to see what was going on.
    I still remember Diallo being shot 41 times (FOURTY ONE times !!) in NYC because he was black and could only speak French, as i reached for his wallet and the jumpy cops thought he was pulling a gun.

    So yeah, I think this is sound advice. I was more afraid of the Police than criminals in the US, and I told my French visitors to be very careful with the Police, never do any sudden movement, never take any initaitive and always wait to be told what to do. And always always show your hands...
    Police in the US are always very nervous, they are trained to be aggressive and react with overwhelming force to any perceived threat.

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