Thursday, December 9, 2010

wifi panic

This is the story of what happens when I wake up in the morning and discover that my Wifi is on the fritz. Upon realizing that I am cut off from the world I automatically say, "f*ck" in a breathy, exasperated whisper, while rubbing my barely awake face. I then discover that the Wifi has decided not to work on the same morning that I have run out of coffee. 6am, no internet, no coffee. Not a fun way to start the day. Obviously this is some sort of conspiracy and for the moment, I'm blaming Fifty. He's been ignoring me this morning anyway.

I make a cup of tea in place of my coffee and while sipping it, I mourn the loss of my tea making skills that I have obviously left in Dublin. And since the tea is not cutting it, I decide that I will have to go to the bar with my Starbucks to-go tumbler and have The Parisian pour two cafés au lait into it. He always looks at me like I'm an alien life form when I do this but I don't care, for a brief moment I can pretend that I'm in a Starbucks (it's a rather active imagination I have).

I turn on the television and the only thing on that looks even remotely interesting is a show called Enquêtes au Coeur d'une Prison de Femmes (investigations inside the heart of a womens prison). And then I ponder why morning television here is a little strange. Where in the world is Matt Lauer?

I reset the Wifi box every few minutes with my fingers crossed praying that it starts working before my French lesson this afternoon. (My lessons are via Skype, how Jetson-like is that?). And then I resign myself to the fact that I may end up cut off from the world for the day, and contemplate how much I can actually accomplish without the interference of the wonderful pesky internet to distract me.

But then I think; if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Like if a little American sits internetless in the middle of B.F.E. France, will anyone know that she's here? Anyone?

(Wifi came back on thirty minutes after I woke up. 

I can do a lot of panicking in thirty minutes)

bisou

36 comments:

  1. Yes we know you are there lovely and holy shit, I was thinking you were down like 2 hours or some junk....now that would be unbearable!

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  2. Oh and I cannot remember the last time, if ever I was the first to comment, felt so smug I thought I would take first and second place...

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  3. Glad you got the wifi back on, it's really annoying and quite scary when it goes on the blink...

    A while ago when my coffee machine wasn't working I used to take my mug to the bar down the street to get it filled up, they'd never had anyone do that before and seemed to think I was very strange. Reading you now I know that I am not alone at all :)

    ps. I think it's really cool you're learning French on Skype!

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  4. "You can take the gal outta Texas..." I wonder how many others here know where "B.F.E." is? Cheers!

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  5. Ha! Thought you were sans wifi for half a day or something. Holy, 30 mins? Too funny!

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  6. We were down a whole day a month or two back! My freakin out level was so high you never would have guessed that we'd just gone over 3 months without internet (as you know, the typical waiting time for the french to set up internet after that first call to Orange...) Glad you're back!

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  7. it would be totally sad to be all alone in bfe cut off, i totally know what you mean!

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  8. I get a little antsy when the WiFi goes out, and I suddenly feel like really amazing things are happening on the Internet, and I'm missing them.

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  9. Thank God a happy ending.

    No coffee is almost worse.

    At least you didn't have to stumble over my scary cat in the chaos.

    Christmas tree yet?

    xo Jane

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  10. Thank goodness you've got the Starbucks generic in the Parisian! I'd not be able to function without coffee. Or internet.

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  11. Good thing it came back on. Fifty was afraid he was going to have to slap you and yell"Snap out of it!"

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  12. 30 minutes is a long time when your internet is down. The isolation! The sense of abandonment! The need to read my horoscope in case today's the day something good happens! I feel your pain, my friend. LOL

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  13. Hello, I wanted to say... how lovely your blog is. i feel woefully inadequate whenever i read something fun, inspirational and informative... but i’m hoping my stuff will get better in time
    we’re about to embark on our own journey to france from ireland via sussex in the uk to castres
    I’m trying to document it from the start, and though i’m new to this whole blogging thing it’s really enjoyable...
    I’m online house hunting now and my husbands only stipulation is that it MUST have broadband... my feeling is that it’d be great if the immobiliers had an email address! I'm feeling your wifi pain
    thanks for your nice comment abut my pyrenees pic
    teresa
    http://upstixtofrance.blogspot.com/

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  14. Given the panic that ensued over 30 minutes without WiFi, I can't imagine the hysterics you would experience if it had been the whole day. I hope you have given Fifty a reprieve.

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  15. Sara, I will tell you what I do when an appliance goes on the blink. I give it the Russian treatment. The Russian treatment? Yes. That means I give it a hard kick. It always gets it going again. Try it next time.

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  16. Poor Fifty, I can imagine his face!
    My dear Sara ... no coffee is really bad :(
    No WiFi maybe too!
    Your life is so funny. I like starting my day reading your post ...
    Bisou, Babi

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  17. I'm glad to know I'm not the only crazy person who panics when the Net dies. LOL I'm glad yours came back on. This post made me laugh. So true. But if it helps for next time, I've also learned to keep a notebook specifically for scribbling and always available. I have one in my purse and one at home. Then if the Net dies, I can scribble my thoughts on paper. It's not as much fun, but I think of a lot of fun things to write sometimes too.

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  18. PS... Use colorful pens in your notebook. It spices things up a bit. lol

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  19. No coffee or WiFi. Gah, what fresh hell is that!?

    Glad to see you're back up and running.
    I also always makes notes when I want to blog but don't have a comp available. Nothing worse then having creative inspiration but not being able to type it out.
    I'll have a Starbucks this aft while thinking about you....

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  20. See, when I start getting all bejiggity about my ghetto 30 Euro/month cable modem here, I guess it's better than nothing. Or dial up. AND? While things are uploading/downloading? I have time to do a few sun salutations, brush teeth, or flip through all 5 channels. Cheers!

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  21. Oh the horror!!! No Internet and no coffee?!?! Who decided to put you through that he'll this morning? I would be SO cranky if that were my morning chops your day improved a lot after such a panicked ridden wake up. Bisous!

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  22. No coffee is bad enough...but no wifi?

    I have a burning question: My French teacher said that wifi was pronounced Wee-Fee in France. Is that true? Gotta know. And if it is true, then I'm going to start calling it Wee-Fee....see if it catches on around these parts.

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  23. Haha! Terrific. I love that you can just walk to a coffee bar and have them put 2 cafe au laits in your mug so you can feel like they are a starbucks! Love that! Why don't people in Europe (where there are no starbucks) not understand coffee to go??

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  24. Wifi, is a must in my house, i cant really cope without it, however pathetic that sounds, its very true. Glad it came back on though!!

    Ah well the skirt and booties, just happen to be in my possession right now, I couldn't resist from buying them! oh well.... i've had so many comments on my shoes, that its totally worth it!

    xxx

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  25. I'd be in such a panic if my Wifi went out. I'm querying my novel and the things that would run through my head would border on the insane. Then again, it may be a blessing! I may stop refreshing my email every two minutes...

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  26. Thankfully your wifi is back ON, I'd be frustrated too if I were you...

    Kisses
    J
    xoxo

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  27. Have you ever seen this Louis CK video? It's Awesome!!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r1CZTLk-Gk

    This reminds me of how dramatic I am when something doesn't work PERFECTLY that no one even knew about 10 years ago lol. I love it!

    oh, and, I'm exceptionally nervous about my tea-making skills. I might need to swing by Le Petite Village before I move to London to get a lesson.

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  28. Very funny, as always Sara :) Glad it came back relatively quickly for you...could you imagine if it had been for a whole week?! Oh, the horror!

    P.S. I want one of those cheese party things...Think I could pull off being French in the middle of Oregon?

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  29. This is hilarious!!! But then again, not! I would totally freak out to high heavens!! No internet for me is no life... Glad your hooked again. Missed your blog of late. How are you??? :).

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  30. Isn't it bad how dependent we are on technology? I swear whenever the 3G on my phone goes out its like I've lost an appendage.

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  31. Glad your wifi came back to life so we could all enjoy this little anecdote. Have a great weekend!

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  32. Totally agree with everyone's comments. Life without coffee or WiFi...

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  33. Yikes, I think thirty minutes without internet in a foreign country translates to roughly four and a half days for the average person - I can't believe you survived!

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  34. LOL! I love reading your blog. You are so funny! I could live without water, air and possibly my kids. But internet? I'd die without it! That's cool you can take french lessons online. I should brush up. Took 5 years of french once upon a time. When I went to Strasbourg I told a guy "I am a toilet". So clearly I need a refresher :)

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  35. I would do the same...I have no patience for things like that and I freak out! I'm so glad it came back on...for you and frankly, for us because we love reading your posts.
    french lessons via skype? brilliant.
    xo a

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  36. No WiFi is a tragedy! How are the French lessons going? I begin mine in January. Have to be ready for the next trip to France.

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