Thursday, March 4, 2010

Nothing At All To Do With France

... WARNING... WARNING... WARNING...

Today's post has absolutely nothing to do with my life in Le Petit Village at all.

It's about me and my inability to go a day without injuring myself in some way. And this is not a new thing, it's not like I was always suave and then moved to France and became Jerry Lewis awkward. I've always been an accident prone klutz. I once sprained my thumb while playing badminton, and not athletic badminton, this was Texas sun shine beer badminton (oh, wait, light bulb moment).

It seems I am completely unaware of the dimensions of my own body. While driving, I'm aware of the size of the vehicle and it's relation to other cars on the road or in the parking lot, but despite having occupied my body for 30+ years, I cannot navigate around furniture without stubbing a toe, banging a knee, or jamming my hip into the corner of something.

My body is constantly covered in bruises and looks like The Boyfriend and I had an argument and I 'fell down'. But nope, just me. Just me and my genetically acquired awkwardness.

Sidebar - One time, my mother fractured her foot while vacuuming. That is no easy feat let me tell you. That's a special type of awkwardness. An awkwardness that I have clearly inherited. Thanks Mom.

That's all I have to say today.

I'm sitting in my kitchen, having a cup of tea.

I missed the chair completely on my first attempt.

Who needs more than one attempt sitting in chair?

I do, that's who.

And maybe my Mother.

bisou

16 comments:

  1. LOL! If it's any consolation, I can't round a corner without banging my foot or shoulder against the wall, so I feel your pain (literally).

    You might want to start asking those Le Petit Village ghosts some questions about how that chair was magically pulled from under you... :)

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  2. HA! You're right! It was a ghost. I couldn't possibly be that clumsy!

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  3. I'm clumsy so don't feel too bad!!! LOL and I'm with tiny elvis, look into that ghost!

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  4. Sara,
    I like to call it "Puppy Syndrome" makes it sound adorable and loveable. Like you're just so happy and excited, so free and full of energy that you can't be bothered to try and look cool. This is how I make myself feel better about my own bruises and scrapes...because you see my adorable friend, I gots that "syndrome" as well. Pair that with the fact that if you turn out the lights I go blind as a bat and cannot even naviagte around the apartment I have been living in for over ten years...well, let's just say my husband laughs a lot.

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  5. Oh yeah. Klutz runs in my family too. Yesterday I tripped getting on the Metrolink train. One day about a month ago I misjudged the distance between my body and the stair rail and whacked my thumb into a post--right on the thumb joint connecting to my hand. In high school I fractured my wrist on a flat volleyball. The list goes on...

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  6. LOL : it's must be funny to live with you but it must be not funny to hurt your body like this !

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  7. Lol, my son is totally like that. He has had a broken nose, a banged up head (not just a bump), and most recently 2 broken wrist. One completely shattered. He's only 10. But he has a bright mind. So I figure maybe having to focus on big bright thoughts keeps him from focusing on body movements. Do you agree?

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  8. OMG I can totally relate! I get mystery bruises and my boyfriend will ask how I got it and I honestly have no clue. I cut corners way to short and yes I bang into EVERY piece of furniture in this house. He actually offers to do all the knife cutting when I cook...since I seem to have sliced myself on accident one to many times! My little sister is the same way so I agree that it is in the genes!

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  9. Bruises? Oh yeah...I get knocked around and I accuse the ground of moving when I fall. Clumsy? Hhhhhmmmmm...no...my Love hates to see me with a knife in my hand and usually takes the knife from me to cut what I need. Yep..Oh well...So right now I have a bruise on my upper arm...I have no idea how I got that...

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  10. Jen - Speaking of looking into that ghost... I was walking Fifty yesterday afternoon, and we were going past one of the old huts that shepherds used to take cover in, and Fifty stopped and just started barking at it. So creepy!!!

    Sam - Funny you should say, 'puppy syndrome', because somehow Fifty has gotten my clumsiness. He falls like three times a day and the look on his face is priceless each time. Have you ever seen a puppy that looks embarressed?

    Sara - it's possible we're related

    Morgane - The Boyfriend laughs a lot!

    Adrianna - I love that thought. Yes, I agree completely. Your son and I are too busy thinking about much grander things, like how to save the world. That's what I was doing when I fell off that chair! Thanks for stopping by :-)

    Bonnie & Ellen - The Boyfriend always takes the knife away from me too! I always thought that he was scared I was going to stab him, but I guess he's just looking after me. How sweet. Extra cuddles for The Boyfriend!

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  11. Your mom needs a Roomba! And maybe you should do Moroccan decor and put pillows on the floor, just in case!;-)

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  12. My fiancee definately has 'puppy syndrome.' The problem is he is over 6 foot tall and weighs 100kilos so when he crashes into things he causes a bit more damage than a puppy would!!

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  13. I can't think of a better country to live in if you are malàdroit. At least medical attention won't cost you much.

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  14. glad to know I'm not the only one with "puppy syndrome". it can be quite annoying, especially after you've walked into the same chair about fifty times and your toe is as red and round as a tomato.

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  15. Sara, not only am I convinced we may be distantly related, but I am now starting to suspect that you are possibly my long lost good twin (which unfortunately means that it is now my life goal to eliminate you.)

    Boyfriend and I play this little guessing game on nearly a daily basis. "Where did that one come from?" or "What color is that bruise today?"

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  16. I think you have, like me, dyspraxia. LLGxx

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