Wednesday, February 3, 2010

International Day of Awesomeness

Today is my birthday.

And since it is also this guy's...

Dan Quayle

And this guy's...

Alice Cooper

It pretty much makes it the greatest day of the year.

I'm thinking of petitioning to turn it into an International Day of Awesomeness.

Anyhoo, I've made a list, because I love those, a list of what I would like for my birthday...

1. The ability to speak French, like right now.

2. To be able to find everything I'm looking for in the grocery store. I'm still getting used to the different brands and names for things and inevitably, I come home without a couple things on the list, and of course, it's always those couple of things that I need to cook something that I really want for dinner. And to find cheddar cheese. They have about 400 different kinds of cheese here, but a girl can't get a little block of cheddar.

3. To get over my fear of driving on these tiny crazy ass roads so I can stop being a hermit.

4. I want great, effortless hair. Nothing to do with life in Le Petit Village, I just really want great hair.

5. Fifty to learn how to go out for a walk by himself (without killing cats or chasing Schnauzers). And while he's out, to pop into the épicerie and pick up the baguette.

6. My friends to visit me. It would be nice to have someone here who I can comment on (make fun of) my surroundings with.

7. The complete oxo pop grip range. Have you seen these things?

8. Direct flights to Dublin from Marseille airport all the time, not just during certain months of the year (Ryan Air I'm looking at you). And you know what, I'm going to go ahead and expand on this, I want Ryan Air to stop being money grubbing A-holes, and realize that they are going to get paid anyway so stop training your staff to act like they're working for the Third Reich. Nobody likes you.

9. All the American television channels. All of them. Yes, yes, I know I should only be watching French television to fully immerse myself, but I would love one day a month, to slob out on my couch, with a big ass remote and random crappy television; Lifetime movies, Storm Stories, American Justice, Jeopardy, Oprah, and reruns of Roseanne and A Different World.

10. The local épicerie to sell fountain soda drinks, including Dr.Pepper, Big Red and Root Beer, with crushed ice in huge styrofoam cups, and bags of beef jerky (I'm from Texas, leave me alone).



  1. Waahhhh!!! It's like looking in a mirror! Dr. Pepper rocks!
    Happy Birthday!
    If it's any consolation, it took me three months before I dared speak an Italian word. Then I was off and running, butchering it up. I still make a mess of it, but frankly can't care less. Once I had an older, pinched face lady make fun of what I said in front of other women. I asked if she spoke any english. She said no, so I told her to stop breaking my balls (non mi rompe coglioni). You could hear the wind hit the back of her throat. lol

  2. And now I know how to say 'stop breaking my balls' in Italian!! Thanks Tammy! Can't wait to say it to The Boyfriend next time he gets on me about my French :-)

  3. Tanti auguri and Joyeux Anniversaire! I hope all the wishes from your list come true.

    Sarah Elizabeth x

  4. Happy birthday! And may your wish for crappy American television come true. There isn't at least one channel that shows American nonsense, like how we have BBC America?

  5. Happy Birthday Lady. Love the list, very real, honest and a great reminder for those of us that bitch, (that would be me) during the one hour of the day I can't find a Law & Order on TV. Cheers to you and self-poop-picking-up puppies, jerkey, cheddar and tight fitting storage containers.

  6. Happy Birthday dear lady. You are right fountain soda and jerky, breakfast of champions. Thank you to Tammy, I have an Italian brother in law whose English is difficult to understand, can't wait to interject that phrase!

  7. A Happy Birthday to you and if I could send you all the soda you wished for I enjoy while you watched those American TV shows you the way those containers look great and would look good in my pantry....hhhmm. Spring cleaning might be coming up. Wow, I wonder what I would miss first if I lived outside the USA? Love you blog! Between you and Tammy I get my Euro fix...I really ...really want to go to Europe (Ireland/Scotland) this summer but the economy has been terrible for my hubby....second year...:(

  8. Oh...can you get All the TV and movies in English!!

  9. Happy Birthday! hope you have an amazing day! May all your wishes and wants on your list come true!!

    ironically enough, my own birthday is tomorrow ^^

  10. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! And now I want a Big Gulp! (I grew up in Mississippi, I can relate to the fountain drinks and beef jerky!)

    Have you had boiled peanuts?

  11. 1) happy birthday!

    2) how did i miss the fact that you're a fellow texan?!

  12. Happy Birthday to you, Sara Louise.

  13. LOVE DR.PEPPER!!!! Happy Late Birthday Sara Louise!!!

  14. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARA LOUISE!!!! I would've posted sooner, but i've been blizzard-ed (is that even a verb? it is now.) into washington dc, and only just got internet back. BUT I hope you at least got the oxo pops, and had a fabulous day!

  15. Happy Birthday SARA. Loving your posts... made me laugh so much..I think you list is do-able, although the fifty one I can see is gonna tke some Looking forward to seeing you soon.xx


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